Cut the Shit

An Update (of the Tyler kind)

While I was hanging out with my friend Kelly last night, I realized that my puppy is now 6 months old. When the hell did THAT happen? I’ve had him for about 3 and a half months so far and he’s still only 7 pounds. He’s just about full grown, yet he still looks like a tiny baby. I always wanted a dog that was going to be little, but not “teacup” little. My clumsy ass would totally squish him whenever I sat on the couch.

In the beginning, I did not love the dog in the way that I had hoped I would. He was a lot of work and it was a complete change in lifestyle with having him around. No longer could Paul and I be away from the apartment for more than 5 hours at a time. If we did, Tyler would scream and bark to high heaven. Luckily none of our neighbors have complained yet, but when I walk off the elevator in my building and hear his howling, I cringe.

He’s such a smart little guy. When I talk to him, he makes direct eye contact and tries his damndest to figure out what I’m saying. He will cock his head to the side as if I’m speaking a foreign language that he wants so badly to learn. I love it when I’ll say something and he’ll bark back at me as though we’re fully communicating. The scary thing is that we talk to each other a lot. Maybe that’s cuz Paul is always working. Or maybe it’s cuz I’m a crazy fucker. Either or.

Tyler is (ALMOST) fully potty trained. He never pisses on the floor, but once in a while he’ll take a dump next to his "wee wee" pad. I then pick him up, put him back on the pad and say “Go Potty”. He fully understands what he did wrong and will respond by picking the poop up in his mouth. Then I’m like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” And I gag silently to myself. I still can’t get him to leave his own shit be, but I can say that the frequency in which he eats it has decreased.

He does the funniest things tho. He can finally get up on the couch in the living room, but in doing so, he has to climb it as though it were a rock wall in the Grand Canyon. He uses every muscle in his body and presses his back against my leg. I try to help him, but he is very independent and basically refuses my help. It’s like watching your baby take its first steps. However, Paul and I ordered Doggie Steps and they arrive tonight! Thank God. My abs can’t take the bending over and picking him up to put him on the bed anymore.

Tyler has his own little bed that sits next to my pillow. Our heads tend to rest against each other while we’re sleeping. Sometimes I’ll wake up and see him laying there, snoring away, and my heart grows three times bigger. Depending on his mood, he’ll curl up into a tiny ball or stretch his whole body out so that he’s half in, half out of the bed. When he’s ready to get up in the morning, he will lick my nose to wake me up. It’s so fucking cute that I want to eat him alive. But then he’ll open up his dog mouth and breathe on me and I about puke. For something so little and cute, he’s got the worst morning breath I’ve ever smelled.

When I get home at night, he literally screams with delight. He jumps all over me and needs to lick my face for a good 7 minutes. Then I put him down and he bounces up and down to be held for a couple more. (his nickname is “bunny”, cuz he hops all over the place). Then as though he spent the whole day shopping in the city, Tyler runs around and grabs each toy and presents them to me. The “fetch” game begins almost immediately and rides throughout the evening.

Tyler is a great dog and it’s really interesting to see how differently he responds to both Paul and me. With Paul, it’s like “party all the time”. He never gets scolded and can pretty much bark and run around in whatever fashion he so desires. That drives me a little crazy, only because most times I feel like I’m disciplining him completely on my own. Consistency is key! But when BIG DADDY (me) gets home, he knows the difference. If I tell him “NO!” for some reason, he immediately looks at me and stops what he’s doing. I’m not tough on him, but I don’t tolerate any sort of misbehavin! He needs this kind of structure and he loves it. He’s knows I’m the boss and I can see the respect in his eyes.

I never thought I’d be able to be the disciplinarian. I wanted to be the cuddler, the lover. And I am. But I’m also the father and what I say goes. The fact that he looks up to me in that way makes me feel really good. And POWERFUL. Heh.

I just love this little guy and although I still get minor panic attacks that he’s mine for the duration, they are few and far between. He’s my little man and I look forward to what the future will bring to our little family.

*photo courtesy of Ari